I met Sarah at a dinner party. “I need you. I am a VP of a company and the only woman in the ‘old boys club.’ They don’t take me seriously. I get no respect and they pick on me no matter how hard I work.”
I met Tonya at a networking event. “Cindy, I don’t know what it is but I just can’t seem to bring on male clients. I always feel like they don’t see me as a serious business owner.”
I hear phrases like that all the time from the women I meet. They work REALLY hard but just can’t seem to be ‘heard’ and ‘valued’ by men.
Top 3 Reasons Why Men Tune Women Out
1. Men can’t hear higher overtones. Seriously. So if your voice is not dropped low enough in pitch, they have to really strain to hear you. It is not clear sounding.
I explain this phenomenon on the latest episode of my TV show #CindyUncorked:
2. Men see insecurity in her body language. The majority of women hold trauma and / or stored emotions in their pelvic region. As a result, they tend to be chest breathers instead of belly breathers. What this means is that:
a) It causes their voice to sound higher (reason #1) and
b) It causes them appear ungrounded since there is no stability in the lower body.
I totally understand that what I have just said is hard to imagine without seeing it. Next time you notice someone that seems ‘all over the place’ or reads as shaky or insecure, notice how they are breathing in their chests and lack stability in their body.
3. Men sense they are are too desperate. When a woman over explains and talks too much, it reads like they are trying too hard…. which takes away their power.
Get seen, heard and respected
Sarah did a VIP day with me back in the summer. Here were some of the solutions I gave her:
1. I showed her how to breathe correctly and be able to walk into any room looking grounded, confident and radiant.
2. I taught her how to communicate in her meetings in a way that spoke directly to each person’s behavioral and learning styles so they could hear her.
3. We looked at the content she was delivering and reshaped it so she wasn’t ‘over delivering’ and looking like she was trying too hard but sharing it from her power instead.
4. We adjusted her speaking voice and body language to be magnetic and draw people in.
5. I showed her how to use questioning as a way to influence the person she was talking with to see her perspective.
Within 2 weeks after our session, her boss was no longer picking on her. He was listening to her ideas and she was feeling the power of a super hero in everything she did.
To get YOU started…
a) When you wake up in the morning, put your hand on your belly and ‘allow’ your breath to drop into your belly. Be present and really feel yourself getting centered.
b) When you have to present information, take time in advance and really work out your talking points so you are clear and don’t veer off.